I don’t want to bore you about myself, so i’ll get on with it.
I don’t judge, because its hard enough judging myself. i think everybody is beautiful, even though they do have their flaws.
i learned at a very young age that life isn’t fair in the slightest, but its what you make with what you are given that bring’s you ultimate happiness.
When i was four my father had been diagnosed with hepatitis C, a curable, yet tough liver disease. the treatment caused him to get angry sometimes, almost enraged and he’d lose his patience, even though he’d always remind me he loved me, and that i was the apple of his eye. it was kinda like having a drunk as a father at some points (even though thats nowhere close), but there was a reasoning behind his actions, because they were saving his life.
When i was six my best friend (and who was also completely inlove with me and wasn’t afraid to let anybody show it) since preschool, Andre Chudleigh was hit and killed by a gravel truck in Calgary, Alberta. Following his death my school at the time were planning to rebuild a playground, and decided to dedicate it to Andre. For my birthday party that year i decided to get money donations instead of birthday presents, and gave whatever money i earned to the school fundraising. I guess they thought it was cute enough for a six year old that they gave me the duty of cutting the ribbon at the opening, considering i was also his best friend. During that time, my father had been experiencing some extremely painful aches in his lower gut, not relating to the treatment of the hep C. The doctors confirmed to him they were just “nervous stomach” aches, due to the stress of the treatment.
a year later my father was cured of his hep C, and that is where my mom told me the “big surprise”.
the next year we were going to move to Kitchener, Ontario.
So, there we were, my family of my mother, father, little brother and i were set off on our road trip to Kitchener in July 2003.
A few months after we moved here and got settled in with my grandmother in her house, my father kept experienced similar pains in his stomach causing him to throw up and shake and freakout. My mother, being the amazing person she is, insisted she took him immediately to the emergency room; where after a numerous amount of various tests, including a colonoscopy, my father was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. With a little over a year to live it chemo started immediately.
it took my parent over six months of arguing to finally come sit my brother and i down to give us the news. as an eight-year-old, i never knew what was going to happen.
after long talks and waits at the hospital and tears and worry and hope , on Christmas Eve 2004, my father passed away.
As i was holding his hand, as he exhaled his last breath, i watched the formation of a hand slowly glide away from his body into the atmosphere around me. “4:20 pm” i hear my mother say. the exact time of death.
the next thing i know, i’m here. i’m alive. i’m happy.
yes, i miss my father, but i don’t let it get me down. cause i know i can defeat this dragon. i’m staring it right in the eye.
so get to know me, ask me more shit, i’ll answer anything honestly and without any sugar coating. but if i am being sweet, its the truth. never think i’m lying.